Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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