So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she peed on how many people?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
