its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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