I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
