Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
