East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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