Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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