yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
