why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
