Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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