i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
