No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
