I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
