Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize