these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
