Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
