Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
