butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
