Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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