White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
