VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
