I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
