im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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