You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
