I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
