How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
