WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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