Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
