what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
