I just made out with a guy for $7.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
