does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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