Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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