is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
