she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
