garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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