Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
