So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
