I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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