hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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