Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My first STD was from a foam party
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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