Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
