Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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