We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
