Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
