PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
