what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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