ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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