Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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