she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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