I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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