i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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