Please, let me fuck your mom
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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