I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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