Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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