the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
porn star boner night. come get it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
