Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
