Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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