found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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