ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
