I wish I could punch you in the face.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
