So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
