i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
